billhamp

October 8, 2012

I was a Speech Communications major in college. While, I certainly prepared my share of outlines and gave plenty of public speeches, I have always been more comfortable and confident with interpersonal communication. Either one on one, or conversation / debate / negotiation in a small group.

In college I obviously took a bunch of classes on how to speak effectively. Through my 20’s and 30’s I listened to countless tapes, CD’s and downloads on persuasion and negotiation. I have studied personality profiles in order to be a better interpersonal communicator. With all that study, however, I will tell you that the best and most effective tool on communication I ever learned, I learned from my Dad.

When I was young he taught me a great technique. While I may not use these words verbatim, although I certainly have, I have found its basic structure to have helped me countless times. It’s simple and powerful, especially in a one on one conversation.

The 3 F’s.

Feel, Felt, Found.

“I know how you feel. I’ve felt the same way. Here’s what I’ve found.”

LIke I said, I may not say these exact words but it’s a great structure for communication. It says, “I hear you. I’ve been there. I’ve learned some things that may help you.”

Remember, most of the time people just want to be heard. They want to know that they are being understood. Once they feel that then they will be much more open to hearing your advice.

Give this a shot.

Triathlon Thoughts:

billhamp

October 5, 2012

I was talking to Amanda tonight and she told me that she thought people would be interested in what I think about for 5 hours when doing a 70.3 (half ironman) I actually think it’s a good question.

Before I started doing endurance sport I would often say, “I could / would never run a marathon. I mean what do you think about for THAT long?!!!”
And now, while I don’t run marathons, I do swim, bike and run for THAT long.

Funny she brought up this topic today b/c today on the golf course my buddy (and contractor / our kitchen renovation expert) Chris Veal asked me the exact same question. So here goes.

In the moments before the gun goes off to start the swim and then, quite frankly, for the entire swim (30-40 minutes) I’m just thinking of finishing that discipline. I know that’s not profound but it’s the truth. Just keep swimming a straight line, buoy to buoy don’t get caught in a crowd, don’t get swam over (literally swam over top of) by another stronger obnoxious swimmer. Just finish the discipline in a solid time.

Coming out of the water the thoughts are still those that are top of mind. Get the wetsuit off, goggles and swim cap off, rack my bike, glasses & helmet on, bike shoes on, any extra nutrition I might need besides the bottles already on my bike and then I’m off. Mount my bike and then start the 2.5 hour ride. (56 miles)

This is where you have a little time to think. For me though I’m racing so I am thinking about that. How fast am I pedaling (cadence) how hard am I pedaling (power) am I remembering to drink and eat? I also sing songs. Literally out loud. I have a few go to’s like Zac Brown Band – Knee Deep and As She’s Walking Away but this race I pulled out Phillip Phillips – Home and Gym Class Heroes – Fighter.

I also take a little time to check out the scenery. For example, the race in Augusta last week rode about 46 of the 56 miles in North Augusta, SC. Let me tell you, I’m from Nashville and I thought we had a lot of churches. Well, I have never, NEVER seen so many churches in my life. Little churches everywhere. No exaggeration .. . I bet we rode past 50 of them. Also, rode past stunning plantation homes but then there would be a little run down home next to it with a car parked on the front porch. (You heard me)

The National Guard was out for this race also and there were 2 at every cross street keeping the traffic at bay. I verbally Thanked them each time I rode by.

As the bike wraps up it’s back to the task at hand. Get out of my shoes in the last .5 mile. Jump off my bike, push it to my transition spot. Off with the helmet and bike shoes, on with my visor, race belt, and running shoes and I’m off.

The first 3 miles I am just thinking about going easy. See, when you first come off the bike your legs are still turning pretty quick so even though you feel like you’re running easy (slow) you probably aren’t. I have to make a conscious effort to go slow and stick to a pre-determined pace.
This race I thought a lot about my daughter Abbey. She runs Cross Country and I am always at her races yelling encouragement to her. (she may just hear me yelling) but I’m always telling her to NOT QUIT! EMBRACE THE PAIN! to GO! GO! DROP THE HAMMER! LEAVE IT ALL ON THE COURSE!
So, this race I started to really hurt around mile 9. I hadn’t fueled properly and I was bonking pretty hard. It’s the encouragement I gave her all year that I had to give myself. There was no way that I could tell her to Not Quit and to Leave it all on the Course only to quit myself (which I seriously considered.) I also thought of a message that Amanda sent me the night before the race of my 3 youngest telling me that I was “going to WIN!”
I had to finish. . .and finish strong. . for them.

So finish I did. As many of you know, I hit my goal of a sub 5 hour 70.3.

There you go, I just took you through my thoughts for a 5 hour race. See how fast it flies by? Aren’t you ready to try one?

Seriously, Triathlon is a great sport. There is a distance for everyone. If you’re in a rut or already in good shape and want a new challenge I encourage you to check it out.

Have a great weekend.

Write Down the Memories:

billhamp

October 4, 2012

One of my favorite books is Donald Millers, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. I just realized that this book isn’t on my Recommended Reading list and that is just wrong. Will be making that addition as soon as I’m done with this post.

There will be a number of posts written in this blog referencing things that just drilled me from this book but I will tell you the one that’s on my mind today.

It’s memories.

He talks about a friend that he has that writes down everything he ever remembers about his life. Now, I had a great childhood. Amazing friends and experiences. However, I am not one of those guys that remembers things very well. In fact, I often will run into people from my past and they’ll say, “Oh man, do you remember when this and this happened and you said this?!!” Nope. I don’t. Maybe if we stayed there a while I could finally extract it from my brain but I really am not good at remembering things from the past.

So. . . I decided to challenge myself one day on a flight from Los Angeles to Nashville. I went into Evernote and created a Memories file. Then created a separate folder for childhood friends, my childhood home, the lake I would swim in, my schools, sports, etc. I would pick one of them and just start writing. Every memory I could recall I would just dump it on the page. No editing. . .just write. It actually was an amazing experience. Things I hadn’t thought about in years were just flying back at me. They were good memories and that trip down memory lane was even healing in some respects.

You know, now that I’m 41 and have lived a lot of life, I sometimes can forget how I became who I am today. It’s so easy for my specific life situation today to feel like this is how it’s always been. But that’s not true. We are all the cumulative sum of our whole lives.

We are a body of work. Not just one year.

There is not a 1992 Bill and a 2008 Bill and a 2012 Bill. I think it would be far more accurate to say there is a 1971-1992 Bill, a 1971 – 2008 Bill, and a 1971 – 2012 Bill. We just add to and subtract from ALL these life experiences shaping and molding, pruning and growing us into who we are today.

I encourage you to find some time for this exercise. DON’T EDIT as the thoughts come. Just start writing. As you do, my bet is that you will recall something about yourself that you may have forgotten.

Give it a shot and let me know how it goes.

Core Value #2: Don’t Treat Everyone the Same:

billhamp

October 3, 2012

So one week ago today I began posting on my Core Values as a leader. The first one was as I lead our team we will:

Do EVERYTHING we say we are going to do.

I figure Wednesday is as good a day as any to consistently post on these so Wednesday’s are now officially deemed. . . .Wait for it. . .wait for it. . .

“Core Value Wednesday’s”

Hopefully you will be able to implement a few of these into your business.

Ok. Here we go. . . Core Value #2: As a leader I:

DON’T TREAT EVERYONE THE SAME.

If you’ve been here longer, gone through more battles with me, shown me more competency, been successful over time, then you get more latitude. Period. If you want more latitude, freedom, trust, respect, rewards, money, recognition, then earn it. . .over time. . .with excellence.

It amazes me the number of people who think that b/c they are simply on the team they will receive the same benefits and latitude that anyone else on the team will receive. Let me just tell you. . . it doesn’t work that way nor should it work that way. I am a big believer that you “Make Exceptions for Exceptional People”.

Here’s an example: As a leader there have been times when one of our team members would submit a time off form for 30 minutes to go run a personal errand and I would accept it and approve it. 30 minutes of personal time would be deducted from their allotment. The same day a different team member might submit a time off form for an entire day b/c they have family visiting and I would deny the time off request so it wouldn’t be docked from their allotted time. I would then go and see them, tell them they’ve been rocking it and to take the day off and enjoy it. It would not be counted against them.

Why? B/c maybe I knew that the individual team member needed that boost of confidence at that time. Maybe they have indeed been killing it and deserved a day off on me. The next time I might give the 30 minutes on me and accept the day off.

It used to drive me crazy when I would meet with one of my leaders and they would be sweating telling someone on their team (who’s been with them for years) that they couldn’t do something like this for them –even though they wanted to– b/c they had to be “fair” to the rest of the team.

That’s BULL! How ’bout you step up and let your team know that you honor commitment and competency. You honor hard work and winning and the more that they do, day in and day out over time, they will earn more latitude and autonomy.

Fair to the team? Give me a break.

Listen to me. . .you want to know the best way to lose great salespeople? The best way to lose your A Players? Treat them the same as you treat everyone else b/c you “have to be fair”. You know why they’re your best players? B/c they often play by their own rules and, while you do have to keep them on the track and they cannot be COMPLETE mavericks…You should make Exceptions for them some times b/c they are Exceptional!

Beyond that, you will have players on your team with different personality styles. What rewards one will not reward the other. So why would you treat them all the same? Doesn’t make sense.

Treating everyone the same. Being Fair. Is a wuss way to run a business. I’m sorry. It’s a cop out so you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. You can’t, after all have anyone upset with you b/c they might think you’re not a good person. GAG!!!!! Step up and LEAD your team. Allowing yourself to be held to the fallacy of the “fair” standard will kill your effectiveness as the leader of a team of studs.

Now that I’ve caught my breath let me say this. .. This does require KNOWING your team and to KNOW your team you have to be with them. You have to be talking to them. You’ll know what motivates them b/c you KNOW them.

Ok. . .I’m on the brink of launching into a few more topics here, however, just the other day my good buddy Jon Acuff gave me a great piece of advice on blogging. And when someone literally runs one of the top blogs on the web. . .I listen. He said to not turn 3 potential posts into 1. I’m going to take that advice and stop now. We’ll hit consistency and communication later.

Take a look at your team today. Who needs something unique from you today that other people on the team won’t receive? It’s ok. . .give it to them. They deserve it. Quit being fair.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone:

billhamp

October 2, 2012

I’m a Mike Leach fan. For years I was just a casual observer and was fascinated by his offenses at Kentucky, Oklahoma, and Texas Tech. However, when I read his book last summer I became a big fan.

I found the following excerpt from his book Swing Your Sword pretty profound and wanted to share it with you. It’s a little long so I’m keeping my thoughts short.

Let me tease you with one of my favorite lines, “We have too many “non-tryers” these days. They’re afraid of how things may look. Rather than experiencing the journey, they’re worried about how they’ll be perceived. It’s really unfortunate.”

Trust me, it’s worth the read. I Look forward to hearing your thoughts.

——————————————————————————————————————–

I went to see Michael Jordan play for the Chicago Bulls a few times, but I didn’t become a big Jordan fan until I heard that, at the age of 31, he was trading in his high-tops for baseball spikes.

That announcement created quite a commotion. All of a sudden, you had all of these commentators criticizing him for trying to play baseball. I thought that was one of the stupidest reactions I’d ever seen. This guy had accomplished a tremendous amount as a basketball player, led his team to championships, won MVP awards, and now he wanted to check out something else. He wanted to go slay another dragon. I thought he should be admired, not ridiculed. Keep in mind that this guy had been told flat out that he couldn’t play basketball after he failed to make his high school team.

But Michael Jordan wasn’t picking up a baseball bat for the cynics. He left to play baseball because he wanted to see if he could play baseball.

We have too many “non-tryers” these days. They’re afraid of how things may look. Rather than experiencing the journey, they’re worried about how they’ll be perceived. It’s really unfortunate.

Come the spring of 1994 there was a daily Michael Jordan watch from the media. He had a lot of 0-for-4s at the plate. He batted around .200 in Class AA ball, but he did steal 30 bases. The press boys got in their digs and called him “Err Jordan.” Sports Illustrated put him on their cover. Next to a picture of him breathlessly flailing at a pitch, the headline read: “Bag it, Michael! Jordan and the White Sox are embarrassing baseball.”It seemed like people were enjoying watching him struggle. They wanted him to admit that he was overmatched. They wanted him to fail. They loved to report that he didn’t do particularly well. The thing about it is, particularly well, compared to whom?

First of all, he got on the team. Most people couldn’t even dream of making a team at the professional level. He was athletic enough to compete in not one, but two sports. Everybody wants to gauge Jordan’s baseball success by whether he became a major leaguer, hit .300, or played in a World Series. In my eyes, he was an incredible success in baseball. He had the opportunity to try something he was interested in. He had the opportunity to test his abilities in a different field and to see where starting from scratch would take him. You had the greatest athlete in his sport at that time riding busses between dusty little Southern towns playing minor league baseball. In that alone there is something noble. This was a guy that craved experience, wanted to test himself and see what else he could accomplish. Yet all of these people giddily point out that he didn’t make it to the major leagues. So he wasn’t successful? That’s crazy. Just having the desire to be more, to do more, well, that’s a big part of the reason why he is Michael Jordan, and that’s why I think his baseball experiment was an incredible success.

You never know who you really are until you get out of your comfort zone. Some of the media’s take on him was just cowardly. The stories were probably written by some short-sighted guys afraid of independent thought. How dare Michael Jordan step out of his box? He’s testing the norms? It’s like telling that reporter at Sports Illustrated that he should never try to write the Great American Novel because he’ll never be more than a sports journalist and then ridiculing him if he makes the effort.

———————————————————————————————————————–

Leach, Mike; Feldman, Bruce (2011-06-27). Swing Your Sword: Leading the Charge in Football and Life (Kindle Location 755). Diversion Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Just Accept the Compliment:

billhamp

October 1, 2012

Why are we so compelled to accept and then deflect a compliment? You know what, let me state that again and claim my statement. Why am I so compelled to deflect a compliment?

The other day, for example, a friend was complimenting me on the weight I’ve lost. I said Thank You which should have been the end of it. But, of course, I proceeded to follow up my Thank You with. . .”Now if I can just keep it off. My last race of the season is Sunday so, well, you know, I’ll have to find something else to help me stay focused and in shape.”

So stupid.

“Hey Bill, you’ve really lost weight you look great.”

“Thank you.”

That’s all.

Fact vs. Feeling:

billhamp

September 28, 2012

I’m headed out this morning for the Augusta 70.3. I’ll stop in Atlanta to spend Friday with my buddy Ken Coleman and his family. Hopefully get a good nights rest and then make the 2.5 hour drive over to Augusta to get checked in and ready for the race on Sunday.

I have trained hard this year. I have trained consistently this year. As a result, I have put up my best times for a 10k, Sprint and Olympic distance triathlon. I have run and ridden farther and faster on a more consistent basis this year than I ever have before. I am as light as I have been in a while and I am most definitely in the best shape I have been in a long time. So, I should be ready to smoke this race right? Mentally I should feel confident in achieving my goals. . . Right?

Nope.

Right now, 3 days from my race I don’t feel great. I feel slow. I feel tired. I feel unprepared.

Frustrating? Yes.

Defeating? Absolutely Not.

That’s the thing about feelings. They can lie. They can be conditional. They can even conflict with what I know to be TRUE.

What I told you earlier? That I’ve trained hard. I’ve been consistent. I haven’t slacked. I’ve gotten results. That is the TRUTH! That is fact. My body is prepared. I am ready for this race. As a result I will do well.

See, when negative feelings rear their ugly head you have to have the truth to beat them down with. You have to lean on what you know to be true.

That’s what I’ll be doing Sunday morning. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Do you have negative feelings attacking right now? What TRUTH do you have to lean on?

Go for Gold!

billhamp

September 27, 2012

Did you watch the Olympics this year? Swimming? Track and Field? What do you think the margin of victory, in seconds or tenths of seconds, was between first and second place? Between winning Gold and winning Silver?

As we all saw, whether it was the 100 meter free or the 100 yard dash, these races come down to split seconds. Sometimes 1/100th of a second!

Doesn’t matter though does it? The difference between winning and losing could be the closest race in history or the biggest blowout in history. At the end of the race there is still a single winner.

About 15 years ago I was listening to Dan Miller give a talk and he was talking about Domino’s Pizza. I’m sure he said it more eloquently but his point was Domino’s didn’t invent pizza. They did, however, make it really easy for you to get it. They started delivering it and this small change in their business model on a national scale changed the pizza game.

I could go through business after business where someone stepped up and just started doing it a little bit better than their competitors. That small change, that little extra effort was the difference between Gold and Silver for them. It was a game changer for them and it can be for you.

Can you begin to look at your business differently today? How does it compare to your competitors? What small change or extra effort can you make to get your customers attention?

Core Values: Doing What You Say

billhamp

September 26, 2012

I was reviewing my list of my leadership core values today. The fact is I’ve always had these, however, when I was leading my team I don’t think I did as good a job as I should have regularly and intentionally articulating them. These values tell your team how you will react in a given situation. They should know this. They tell your team what you expect of them in a given situation. They should know this.

I thought I would begin to periodically highlight some of my core values. Some are unique to me, some are pretty standard and some are downright quirky. That’s ok. . .combined these make up the unique leader that I am.

The core value for today is – As a team we will. . .

Do EVERYTHING we say we are going to do.

Sounds simple right? So many organizations slack on this one though. Here’s the deal. When you don’t do EVERYTHING you say you are going to do then it not only damages your credibility but kills your position in a negotiation.

I was in a meeting once renewing a contract with a client. They were really pushing back on their new advertising rate and in the course of the discussion I found out that something our team had promised them and, I had signed off on, had not happened. Seems about 6 months into the deal they were told that we actually couldn’t pull off what we once thought we could. Now, in our defense they just accepted it when it happened, saying it was no problem, leading our team to believe they were ok with this, however, now I was finding out that they clearly weren’t and they felt like we had not lived up to our end of the bargain. So, here I was, trying to renew the contract, telling them what we would do and they had in the back of their mind. . . .”will you really do that?” UGHHH!!!!

If you promise something in a negotiation you MUST deliver on that promise. If you cannot deliver, don’t just assume the other party is ok with it. Speak to them, OVER communicate with them about it and then go ahead and make the physical change to the agreement that you both sign off on. Also see if you can offer them something else just to go the extra mile.

How about at the office? Did you:

Tell a co-worker you’d have a report to them by a certain time and then decide you could miss the deadline this time?
Agree to be at the office each day by 7:30am but consistently show up late?
Show up late for a scheduled meeting and, once again, blame it on your busy schedule?
Call a 30 minute meeting only to have it go 45 minutes. . . again?!

Sounds simple I know AND people break this everyday. Trust me, when you consistently don’t do what you say you’re going to do, even on the small things, people notice. You will lose credibility and over time effectiveness b/c people will know they can’t trust you.

Be that person that people can count on. . .EVERYTIME. That quality alone will make you stand out amongst your co-workers.

Don’t play “Gotcha!” Politics:

billhamp

September 25, 2012

I think it’s important to judge somebody on their whole body of work. Not just a single comment or action. Who is this person? Who have they been? What story has their life consistently told?

Politics today has become a complete game of “gotcha!”. People on both sides just waiting in the wings for someone to say or do one thing so that they can attack. The sad thing is that surprising as this is to me, many people allow themselves to be swayed by this maneuver.

I am voting for Mitt Romney for President. The reason I am voting for him has NOTHING to do with a single comment he has made. The reason I am not voting for Barack Obama has NOTHING to do with a single comment he has made. I am voting for Romney b/c I sincerely believe that his policies, attitude and approach towards government are better for my family and my personal view of what will make the country stronger. This opinion is based on what I know of his past governing, the success of his business dealings, (yes, that is a positive to me) and his general leaning towards a more conservative viewpoint. In other words, a body of work.

When I was in college I took a class on communication. It was my major so I obviously took several. I don’t remember the particular class or professor but I do remember what I learned one day. Wait, it’s coming to me. I think it was Dr. Sprague. Anyway, he talked about how when we hear something about somebody that we know we need to ask ourselves if it lines up with what we know of that person. What we know of their character. If it doesn’t line up with our experience of that person we should either A) discard it or B) go to that person and figure out what really happened.

I can’t tell you how many times I have applied this over the years. It actually eliminates so much drama. I’ve gone as far to just discount the statement as soon as I hear it.

“Hey did you hear so and so did this?”

“No they didn’t.”

“What”?

“I know so and so. Have known him for years and I can assure you there’s more to the story. I don’t know exactly what happened, but I know it didn’t happened just as you’ve heard. You should go ask him about it”.

Of course, it usually ends there b/c some people like drama and “juicy stories” more than the truth.

Don’t let one statement or one remark make your decision for you. Don’t fall for that tactic. Look at the person’s whole body of work, what consistent story has their life told? Look at that and then make your decision.