billhamp

October 22, 2012

Amanda and I are getting away for a few days. Spending some time together just relaxing. I may write a new post or two while gone. I may not. Have no fear though, I am pulling out some oldies but goodies from my previous blogging life. Due to his death last year, you may have read this quote before, however, it’s definitely worth soaking in more than once. Sit with this one for a while. It’s really good.

So I am what you’d call a High I/D personality. According to the DISC personality profile that means I am a pretty outgoing driven person. I also have very little S (nurturer) and Zero C (detail / analytical). According to this profile I should not over analyze things and for the most part I don’t do this hardly ever except in sports. Specifically golf.

I literally wear myself out over my golf game. I think about it constantly and it just creates a mess for me on the course. This was most recently evidenced last weekend when I went up to play a 3 day tournament in Michigan. I made it 16 holes and then decided to go do something else for the day / weekend. Pitiful I know. I just was playing horrible and not having any fun as a result.

As I was getting ready to come back home my Dad gave me the following quote and had me read it out loud in the car. It certainly puts things in perspective and it is my hope that I will be able to apply this line of thinking to my golf game. I think I’ll enjoy it more. . . Enjoy. . .

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear or embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be rapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Steve Jobs
CEO of Apple

Like I said, sit with this one for a while. Good words to live by.

Reminders:

billhamp

October 19, 2012

I was in my office the other morning going through some files and I came across one that I had forgotten about.

Over the years, people have written me notes. Encouraging cards, Thank you’s, etc. I typically read these and then throw them away. It’s not that I don’t appreciate them, they are always meaningful to me, but seriously, you can’t keep every card you get. However, over the years I began giving the ones that were particularly meaningful to my assistant to have her file for me.

I think that’s important. I’ve talked about this before (check out Fact vs. Feeling) I think that you have to have truth to lean back on from time to time. It’s good to remind yourself who you are to someone else even if you don’t feel that good about yourself on a particular day.

If my daughters have heard this from me once, they’ve heard it a 1000 times. I remind them as I’m dropping them off at school. . .

“Remember someone’s watching you today. You probably don’t know them and you may be surprised if you knew it but there’s someone today that looks up to you and watches your every move. Be aware of that. Be kind to everyone. Make someone smile.”

So I came across this file of cards. Probably 50 that I’ve kept over the last 10 years. In looking through them I was surprised at some of the ones I had filed. I had many moments where I had forgotten how someone had felt or that I had influenced or encouraged them at just the right time in their life. Reading through the file encouraged me today.

Remember who you are to others. Remember that someone is always watching. Remember that you have the ability to write someone a note that they need to see today. And. . when you get a note or card. . .don’t be so fast to read it and pitch it. Save a few. You’ll probably have a day where it will help to pull them out so you can remind yourself who you are to someone else.

Speech 101: Tell ’em what you’re gonna tell ’em:

billhamp

October 18, 2012

You’ve probably heard that the #1 fear that people have is not death but rather, Public Speaking.

The thought for many of getting up in front of a group of people and speaking can shoot a paralyzing fear through their bodies. I’ve seen people literally get up in front of a group, begin with something simple like introducing themselves and. . . forget their name. Seriously! So sad and painful to watch but such a reality for many people.

This is the the 2nd time that I’ve written about something I learned from my Dad, however, get ready, there will probably be many more posts where I unveil the practical wisdom learned from him.

Both tips have been on communication. Last week I wrote on Feel, Felt, Found. A great tip on interpersonal communication. Today’s tip is for public speaking. When preparing a talk remember this basic outline. It works in any situation, will keep you on track and will certainly make that next speech or presentation much easier and effective.

Tell ’em what you’re gonna tell ’em.
Tell ’em.
Tell ’em what you told ’em.
Sit down.

That’s it.

Tell ’em what you’re gonna tell ’em.
– Lay out the big vision. Why are you taking them there? What are they going to find when they get there? Any problems they’ll encounter? What benefits are they going to receive?

Tell ’em.
– Here’s where you make your case. Give them the specifics. Include your supporting documentation and evidence.

Tell ‘ em what you told ’em.
– Review. Fly over what you just told them emphasizing and reminding them of the benefits of action.

Sit down.
– No need to drag it out. It’s always good to leave them wanting more. If you’re making a sale (product, idea, event, doesn’t matter) with your talk, then this is the most important part. Lord knows how many people have made the sale and bought it back in the same conversation all b/c they couldn’t stop talking and sit down.

A simple outline for public speaking. I hope it helps.

Core Value #4: Support

billhamp

October 17, 2012

As a leader I have a list of core values that guide me. They are a work in progress. Each week I’m sharing one with you in hopes that they will help you grow and excel at leading your team. The previous 3 have been:

1) Do everything you say you’re going to do.
2) Don’t treat everyone the same.
3) Never excuse or justify a failure.

My 4th Core Value is – As a leader I:

Expect my team to support each other and the company.

Remember, when you work for a company you are working towards moving their vision and culture forward. Not yours. I’m writing these posts for people who are mature enough to understand this. If you’re reading this and are someone who constantly complains about your company and its leadership. If your problems or unhappiness are b/c of them, then this probably won’t help you. It’s time for you to move on from where you are.

1) Support for the team

As a leader you just have to have a strong cohesive team. I’ve never met someone who is considered a strong leader whose team hates each other and is constantly jockeying for position. Your team will be a reflection of the qualities you are pouring into them. You’ve built the team!

You’re team has to be pulling for each other. Encouraging one another. You’ve got to jump at the first sign of someone positioning at the expense of others on the team. Don’t hear me wrong. If you’re leading a sales team I think there should be a healthy level of competition. Key word there being healthy. Your team can compete. You can set individual sales goals that reward those that are having great months. You should do these things. You cannot, however, ever allow someone with a “win at all costs” attitude. That will tear down the team, create distrust and you will have a major issue on your hands.

As a leader, your team must support each other.

2) Support for the company

I was talking to an acquaintance the other day who was telling me that the company picnic was coming up. He went on to say that the company had rented out an area of a park, was bringing in activities for the employees children, catering the event, etc. Sounded pretty nice. He then proceeded to say the following, “It’s so stupid. We’re (his family) not going. I wouldn’t give up my Saturday to spend time with the company. I mean, I’m there all week.”

Are you kidding me? You mean this company that gives you a job? Pays you? Provides your health insurance? Spends their money to provide a great event for the employees and their families? You’re not going to support that companies effort towards unity?

Enjoy your mediocre work career.

Seriously, As a leader one of my core values was that my team will support our companies events. Throwing a party? Be the first ones there. Celebrating a victory? Cheer the loudest. Serving at the local homeless shelter? Close that bad boy down!

Lead the team that is proud of each other and the company! Lead the team that is always looking for ways to support the companies efforts.

Sleep On It!

billhamp

October 16, 2012

The other day I got a call from a friend. He needed some advice and someone recommended he bounce his situation off of me. The more we talked I could tell that this was a complicated issue and all the parties involved had some really valid concerns. I told him I would continue to give it some thought and we’d talk again the next day.

When I got home that evening, I talked the issue through with Amanda and the more I talked, the stronger I felt that I needed to help resolve this situation.

Immediately.
ASAP.
Like Now.

It just seemed important and, even though the voices in my head were telling me to SLOW DOWN, I was trying to override them w/ a number of excuses. I am very encouraged that I finally listened to my inner voice as it told me to:

GO TO BED. GET A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP AND REVISIT THIS ISSUE IN THE MORNING.

So I did and guess what? I literally forgot about it. Really. I got up and went about my morning and it didn’t hit me until the afternoon that I hadn’t dealt with the issue yet. So, with a completely different outlook and temperament, I made some calls and was able to add some value to the conversation.

While this is still a fault of mine I am getting better at realizing that very few issues need my immediate attention. Some do, of course, but rarely am I not better served by waiting overnight. The power of a good nights rest cannot be overstated. As I look back on situations where I’ve made bad decisions, lost my temper, reacted in a way that I know I shouldn’t have, I can almost always attribute it to being tired. I look back over my week and see that I’m not getting enough sleep. For me, it is a killer.

Remember, just slow down. Most decisions don’t have to be made immediately. There may be some tension, that’s ok. See how you feel after some rest. You’ll either validate how you felt the night before or you’ll be glad you kept your mouth shut. Either way, most of the time it will be for the better.

It’s the Thought that Counts:

billhamp

October 15, 2012

The other day Amanda and I were on our Thursday morning breakfast date. She was telling me about her frustration with a common phrase that we’ve all used. As she was telling me about this, I looked at her and said, “That’s a blog post. You need to guest post on my blog!”

She thankfully agreed so here you go. Wisdom & authenticity from Amanda Katherine Hampton. . .

It’s the thought that counts…

A couple of mornings ago while I was getting ready, I was going over things on my ever constant to-do list in my mind. One of them was to call a lady I know to commission her to make some wedding gifts for us. See, over the past 6 months, Bill and I have been to 4 weddings and the same scenario happens every time we are walking up to the ceremony. Bill says to me, ” Babe, did we get them a gift?” And immediately my heart sinks in the midst of the beauty of the moment and I realize I have completely failed. The answer is a sad, truthful…no.

Somewhere in the lapse of time from when we get the wedding invitations and the time of the actual wedding, I am forgetting to get each couple a gift. I simply think I’ll remember where everyone is registered and I’ll remember when I’m out picking up children that it will run past my mind and I’ll go pick them out. Wrong.

So back to the other morning as I was thinking about these wonderful friends we want to celebrate with by giving them a wedding gift and just as I am feeling the depth of my failure in this area, I hear a voice in my mind…
“It’s the thought that counts.”
And in the split second that it came across my mind and gave me a moment of feeling not-so-bad about myself, I almost literally shook my head NO! That is a lie! I had a flash of my thought life over the past, say 20 years, and wondered where in the world did I first hear this cop-out statement and why has it been something that almost allows and approves failure in some sort of pitiful way.

I moved positions in my mind and wondered how many times I have accepted mediocrity out of fear for admitting that I dropped the ball in a certain area. For if the thought was really all that counted, then my loved ones would never hear me SPEAK my love for them, they would never see me DO things for them, and they would never FEEL me show them how much I care.

Seems to me it is the ACTION of the THOUGHT that counts. Taking the bold step to move forwards out of my brain and into the act of…writing a thank you note that will mean so much, baking some pumpkin bread for our friends, tipping the waitress a little extra because it seems like she has had a hard day, giving money to a charity we believe in to help provide beds for orphans, surprising my kids with a treat they love, calling a friend who is going through a hard time, volunteering with my dog at the hospital, and yes, even buying a wedding gift.

See, it would’ve been seemingly easy to let myself off the hook because the weddings are over and it feels uncomfortable admitting we completely missed this. However, this is important to us. We want to bless our friends in their marriages. It isn’t too late. SO, I made the phone call on Friday and am following through.
The action of my thought is what truly matters.

What about you?? Have you believed this lie one too many times? Challenge yourself to stop thinking old thoughts!

Margin:

billhamp

October 12, 2012

I’ve been considering my days lately. Where I’m spending my time. What has my focus.

Since I left my day job I’ve stayed busy. My days are full. Most of the time, too full. I make adjustments. They fill right back up. Removing things only makes room for more stuff. It all seems important. Of course it’s not. Not in the big picture anyway.

Lately, I’ve been considering what’s the REALLY important stuff. What should I spend my days doing? What should I be doing each day that will help me find what it is I’m SUPPOSED to be doing with my life?

First, I’m reviewing what fills my day? (until 5pm)

Taking & picking up kids from school
Breakfast, Coffee, Lunch w/ friends. (combo of catching up and talking business / ideas)
Training
Time w/ Amanda
Reading, Writing
Everyday errands

I want to do more of some of these things and less of others. I’ve been contemplating this. . .alot. I was on the fence about letting go of some stuff that has been eating up large blocks of my day. Then, on the way into work this morning, I read this tweet from @bobgoff

If we don’t leave some margins, there won’t be places for God to write into our lives. It’s Thursday! What are you going to quit?

Ouch! and Wow! and YES! all at the same time.

For me, this tweet all but made my decision for me. I know what I have to do, but thinking about it throughout today literally makes me sick. My chest is tight, I’m nervous, scared, uncertain. You ever been there? Knowing what you have to do but having trouble making the call?

That’s where I am today.

I left my day job 9 months ago so I could be in a better position to allow God to write his story into my life. I’ve done a lot right over this time, however, I know I can do better. Truth be told, I have filled my days a little too much and, in the process, left little room to hear him speak. I’m afraid, I have, once again, filled the quiet with noise.

Today, I will quit some things. It will be hard. I’m feeling uneasy. Even Sad. In a weird way, however, I like this feeling. There’s some refining going on. MY will is being tested. Time to make some more changes.

How about your life? Do you need to leave some more margin? What will you quit today?

Driving Miss Sydney:

billhamp

October 11, 2012

This morning, as I do every morning, I got in the passenger seat of my car while my 15 year old daughter, Sydney got in the drivers seat. We were headed to school. She got her drivers permit 6 weeks ago and she’s come a long way. Gone are the days where I could barely breathe as we drove along constantly hitting the air brakes and turning a steering wheel that didn’t exist. Now, we just get in the car and she drives this one route to school. Through small town Franklin.

I know that we have to get on the Interstate though. She needs to drive more at night. In the rain. In the snow. She needs to drive to downtown Nashville. Get stuck in traffic. Find her way in places that are unknown to her. Go the wrong way down a one way.

I get it and it makes total sense to me. This year of her driving with me is such a lesson for her and me. Is it going to freak me out to get on I-65 North as she takes us into into Nashville? Well Yeah! Do I have a choice? No.

See, this whole train up a child thing is real. If I don’t do this with her then how is she going to learn? I could hand off this responsibility to someone else I guess but, I’m sorry, I just feel like this is part of what I signed up for and. . . I love it.

See, I’ve watched parents raise great kids and I’ve watched parents raise disasters. I’ve sat with parents who say, that it’s out of your control. That great parents have raised bad kids and bad parents have raised great kids.

While on the surface that is certainly how it appears sometimes. . . I’m not buying it. I’m just silly enough to believe, I guess, that if I study parents who have raised healthy and productive kids that I will begin to see some patterns. Some things that they all did pretty consistently. Same goes for the common denominators in the train wrecks. Does it always work out? Of course, not. Just patterns that give me a better shot. That’s all I want. . .as much of the odds in my favor as possible.

So, I’ll get in that passenger seat as millions of parents have done before me and we’ll venture into the unknown. We could crash. It could even be bad. She could miss a turn, not do what I say, she could get mad, I could get ticked. I might yell, she might cry. We might laugh. It’s very emotional this letting someone else drive thing. I like to drive. I like to be in control. (Boy, there’s a post all in itself)

I guess Sydney driving has just reminded me, once again, that you can’t wing this parenting thing. It matters. Putting her in the drivers seat has caused me to be more intentional about a lot of things. It’s causing me to change some things in my life so I can create more margin for things that matter more.

One day at a time.

Help me out here parents of teenagers. What did the driving experience teach you about life and parenting?

Core Value #3: Never Justify a Failure!

billhamp

October 10, 2012

Welcome to Core Value Wednesday. Now listen, this is a long one. Almost 2x as long as my normal post, however, I encourage you to give this one your time. If you lead people, if you are an influencer in your organization, you will want to be sure and take the lessons from this post and apply them to your next challenge.

Ok. . .here we go. . .

The Business Planning Meeting:

As the leader you set the vision for where the organization is going. After communicating that vision you sit down with your team and discuss a milestone along the path. As a team you identify what it is you want to accomplish. The goal is identified. The team is in agreement. Everyone knows and agrees on what needs to be accomplished. You define success. This goal will be considered successful when it accomplishes this (number of attendees, revenue goal, net profit goal, PR milestones, etc.) Everyone has weighed in, everyone is on task, the vision is clear, Ready, Set, GO!

Sound familiar? I’ve just described a basic planning session. Most have done this innumerable times. What often happens next, however, is what leads me to my 3rd Core Value.

Core Value #3: As a Leader I:

NEVER EXCUSE OR JUSTIFY A FAILURE

Too often, after doing everything right in the planning stages, after all agreeing on what success will look like, teams tend to justify not hitting the mark. You’ll hear things like:

“Well, we couldn’t have anticipated that change”
“We didn’t hit our goal but we still did better than last time!”
“Let’s focus on what we did accomplish!”
“Well, yes, we set that goal but, come on, it was pretty unrealistic, wasn’t it? We did great!”

Have you heard these excuses? I have. I’ve even used or accepted them before. Here’s the problem though, just like we talked about in CV #1 – You have to do everything you say you are going to do. When you continually announce big plans and get everyone excited only to, once again, not come through, people begin to lose their confidence in you and worse yet, this becomes the culture on your team. We set big goals and hope we hit them but if we don’t it’s OK.

The truth is: It’s really NOT OK.

A friend of mine used to say something along the lines of, “Aim for an Eagle, Bag a Pheasant, Don’t eat Crow.” I understand the logic here and as an individual philosophy it works. My goal is to run a sub 3:30 marathon. I train with that in mind but on race day I run a 3:35. Didn’t hit the goal but I’m still pleased with how I did. However, when you lead a team, this is not the case. You need to consistently win. You need to become known as a team that does what they say they are going to do. One that exceeds expectations. Because the problem is when you always announce your grandiose plans and consistently don’t hit them, even if you did still do pretty good, 2 things will begin to happen:

1) People will stop listening to your new vision or worse yet just laugh it off as another one of your crazy ideas.
2) Your team will no longer believe that failure is not an option knowing that, “if we don’t hit the goal, it will be OK”

Listen to me, when goals are consistently not met people won’t celebrate your “we did better than last time” excuse. They will begin rather to say w/ a smirk “Here they go again. . . ” in other words, “what a joke”. Let me tell you, when that happens, it’s really bad. You have just lost your leadership card. As a leader people should look at you and know that if you say it will happen, it will happen. When your team no longer believes you, that is when you are a leader by position only. You have lost your influence.

Winning is an attitude. It’s a mentality. You’re not being a jerk as a leader when you call not hitting the goal what it is.

We’re All in this Together.

I want my teams to come out with the mindset that we set a goal and hitting that goal is the only option. Period. In fact, if we don’t hit this goal then NO ONE is going to be happy. You better stay away from us for a while. Failure is not an option. And yes, it IS a failure if we don’t hit our goal. Why? Because, we ALL sat in that meeting, we were ALL part of setting that goal. As the leader, I didn’t MANDATE it to you. I didn’t tell you where we were going and expect you to just jump in. (I’ll talk more about that later) So, if you felt the goal was unrealistic at the time you should have said something THEN. If you felt like there were too many obstacles that would keep us from accomplishing the goal you should have spoken up THEN! We are all adults here and we will be a team that wins and we cannot be a team that wins if we have players who are afraid to speak up in meetings and challenge unrealistic expectations.

Now, if you’re less than an A Player, you may be thinking you’ll just set the bar low and that way, you will always meet the goal. I’m not going to write much on that mentality. If that’s how you think I can’t help you. The goal has to be attainable but the team has to feel like you. . . .AWWWW Crud. . . I just transitioned into another core value (setting proper expectations) Sorry, you’ll have to wait on that one.

What if We Really did Miss the Goal???

Alright, so what if you don’t hit the goal? Have you failed as a leader? Maybe this time you did. Maybe not. Maybe there really were some obstacles that came up that you couldn’t have expected. Those things are possible. Sit down with your team and talk about it. What went wrong? Where did we miss? How can we avoid that mistake next time? The mindset should be, “We’re winners. This sucks! I don’t want to feel like this again!” I’m just saying, some leaders seem to live in the world of unmet expectations. Don’t be that leader. Get some wins under your belt. Start today. When you get wins under your belt you build up some credit in your account that allow you a miss here and there. You’re gonna have misses. It just cannot be the norm in your life and for far too many leaders it is.

This is Real LIfe. We Keep Score.

Let me stay here for a second. . . you know what the contrast is to the leader described above? The one who sits with his team as an adult and calls the miss what it is and then learns from it? It’s the leader who babies his team and celebrates EVERYTHING b/c we don’t want to demotivate the team. Listen to me, your team may laugh and enjoy your Ice Cream and Coffee celebrations where you sit around and talk about how “you did better than last time” but that’s really no different than little league where we don’t keep score and EVERYONE wins. It’s a lie. People know when you consistently don’t hit goals and they don’t respect it.

When you set goals and hit them, your team will walk with confidence. Others might even call you cocky. When your team sees another team celebrating missing the mark their eyes will cross and they’ll tilt their head a little with that confused look as if to ask, “Did they win?” The answer is No. But the norm is often celebrating mediocre. Celebrating average.

Just set the goal. Hit it. Celebrate the victory. Move on. Again and Again and Again. Your team will be the talk and envy of the organization.

If you enjoyed this Core Value, be sure and check out #1 and #2!

Do the next right thing:

billhamp

October 9, 2012

I’ve received some really good advice over the last few months. The best advice for me is the advice that says, “Do this.” For whatever reason, If I respect you and you give me advice that requires me to do something a lot of times, I’ll do it.

I don’t know if it’s the challenge or competitive nature in me but I guess I often just have the, “Why wouldn’t I” attitude. I like you, I trust your advice, you say that my life will be enriched if I do this. . . ok.

(This does not translate to food btw. If I like, trust you and you tell me to become a Vegan or drink that green grassy looking shake 2x daily, it probably won’t happen. Don’t take it personal, I just have my limits I guess)

Anyway, one piece of advice I received several months ago was so simple and yet, I consider and apply it often. You ready?. . .

Each day, Do the Next Right Thing.

That’s all. Each day just go from place to place, situation to situation and ask yourself what the next right thing is and then do it. I know, you may be thinking, “Bill, this is all you’ve got for me?” Yep, that’s all for today. I challenge you though to think about this one. I bet you’ll use it.