billhamp 
September 10, 2012So Amanda and I were on a trip recently. We had met another couple and were spending some time with them. Just hanging out talking and the conversation turned to a friend of theirs who had just purchased a “large” home. It was like 5,000 sq. ft. or something. She then made the statement that doesn’t so much bother me anymore, truth is I just don’t understand where it comes from.
“I don’t care how much money we have one day. I WOULD NEVER live in a home that big. There’s so much more you could do with your money than spend it on a home that big”
If you know me, you know that I had to ask a few questions at this point.
Me: Why?
“B/c who needs a home that big?”
Me: “Didn’t we all pass need a long time ago? I mean really, we don’t really need much. How big is your home?”
“2700 sq. ft”
Me: “Really? b/c THAT’S a big home. In fact, I would bet you that there are people who live in a 1500 sq. ft. home who say that they WOULD NEVER live in a 2700 sq. ft. home. Don’t you think?”
“No. 2700 sq. ft. isn’t big.”
Me: “You don’t think?” What about to a newly married couple living in a 800sq.ft. apartment? You think it’s big to them?”
It just got kind of uncomfortable and we moved on.
She was irritated and I probably just should have been quiet. I just don’t understand.
I think “Would Never’s” are dangerous. We’ve all heard them and most of the time they’re just a judgement of someone elses decisions. Their wants and desires. Not yours. Theirs. And we’re not talking about something that can affect me or my family. Does the size of the home they choose to live in affect me? I don’t know about you but I’ve got Amanda, 5 kids, 2 dogs, and other goals, obligations and relationships in my life that need my time and energy. The last thing I need to worry about is something that doesn’t affect me in the least bit.
Funny thing about writing your opinion. It usually can be held against you at a later date on a different opinion. That’s ok. I’m not running for office.
Remember, we all passed need a long time ago. (credit that statement to my good friend Stan Moser.)
“I may not need it, but, I want it”…..wants will always trump needs……
I think it is pretty safe to say you will never be on vacation with them again…
I’ve found myself at times making very similar statements about not needing a big home. It’s scary how easily my opinions about how I want to live my life can cloud my view of and create judgement towards the way others live theirs.
The “I will never” comes in handy when you have small kids and want to judge parents of teenagers. Count me guilty as charged!!!
So true Bob. Mine are my responsibility and to the extent that something affects them I have an opinion. Beyond that, probably best I keep my mouth shut.
Like your grade school teacher said “You always need to have the last word”. About the never, I learned long ago,”Never say never if you have a husband, kids, or a dog, you will probably eat your words, love u
I would NEVER shoot my mouth off!
…
Nevermind.
The that I’ve pondered…and perhaps even wrestled with is: What size is my “dwelling place” in heaven? And, is it at all affected by my stewardship here?
One of my favorites is the good ole country boy who says “Look at those Hollywood people always getting married. I would never leave my wife if I were a big time actor.”
Easy good ole boy. You have no idea how you’d react if you had millions of dollars, women throwing themselves at you and an unlimited number of parties to attend every week. It’s easy to stay with your wife when you have no other options.