This morning, as I do every morning, I got in the passenger seat of my car while my 15 year old daughter, Sydney got in the drivers seat. We were headed to school. She got her drivers permit 6 weeks ago and she’s come a long way. Gone are the days where I could barely breathe as we drove along constantly hitting the air brakes and turning a  steering wheel that didn’t exist. Now, we just get in the car and she drives this one route to school. Through small town Franklin.

I know that we have to get on the Interstate though. She needs to drive more at night. In the rain. In the snow. She needs to drive to downtown Nashville. Get stuck in traffic. Find her way in places that are unknown to her. Go the wrong way down a one way.

I get it and it makes total sense to me. This year of her driving with me is such a lesson for her and me. Is it going to freak me out to get on I-65 North as she takes us into into Nashville? Well Yeah! Do I have a choice? No.

See, this whole train up a child thing is real. If I don’t do this with her then how is she going to learn? I could hand off this responsibility to someone else I guess but, I’m sorry, I just feel like this is part of what I signed up for and. . . I love it.

See, I’ve watched parents raise great kids and I’ve watched parents raise disasters. I’ve sat with parents who say, that it’s out of your control. That great parents have raised bad kids and bad parents have raised great kids.

While on the surface that is certainly how it appears sometimes. . . I’m not buying it. I’m just silly enough to believe, I guess, that if I study parents who have raised healthy and productive kids that I will begin to see some patterns. Some things that they all did pretty consistently. Same goes for the common denominators in the train wrecks. Does it always work out? Of course, not. Just patterns that give me a better shot. That’s all I want. . .as much of the odds in my favor as possible.

So, I’ll get in that passenger seat as millions of parents have done before me and we’ll venture into the unknown. We could crash. It could even be bad. She could miss a turn, not do what I say, she could get mad, I could get ticked. I might yell, she might cry. We might laugh. It’s very emotional this letting someone else drive thing. I like to drive. I like to be in control. (Boy, there’s a post all in itself)

I guess Sydney driving has just reminded me, once again, that you can’t wing this parenting thing. It matters. Putting her in the drivers seat has caused me to be more intentional about a lot of things. It’s causing me to change some things in my life so I can create more margin for things that matter more.

One day at a time.

Help me out here parents of teenagers. What did the driving experience teach you about life and parenting?