billhamp 
November 16, 2012NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming.
Some call it shadowing or mirroring. I call it a great memory.
For over 11 years I worked really closely with my good buddy Jack Galloway. Jack will fool you. He’s been known to drive a monster truck and farm pigs. He’s also one of the best businessmen I know. Very, very sharp guy. You know those people that you are just able to connect with? When it came to running our business, Jack and I had that. We just got each other.
Anyway, a few years back, maybe 6 or 7, Jack and I listened to a tape series on NLP. On a VERY elementary level, NLP would say that when you are speaking to someone or selling someone you should “mirror” them when communicating. Seriously, if the client is leaning on their right leg, you lean on your right leg. If the client speaks with gestures, you speak with gestures. If the client speaks with an accent you very subtly adapt that same accent. And if the client speaks with a stutter you, and I’m serious here, you speak with a stutter. The options are endless. Point is. . .mirror who you’re talking to.
Jack and I really liked this. We thought this was really interesting. We started out trying it very subtly on eachother. Inevitably, the one doing the mirroring would just start laughing or we’d catch each other and just give the look of, “Seriously?”
Well, one day, we were interviewing a guy and we needed to make this hire so I decided I was going to really employ some serious mirroring. So, the interview starts and is going well. . .the guy crosses his leg, I cross my leg. He leans forward, I lean forward. He stretches and I stretch. So far so good. See, the deal is if you really do this well, the guys who teach this stuff SWEAR you won’t get caught. I’ve even spoken with a Chinese accent before and have found this to be true.
Back to the interview, I hadn’t told Jack that I was going to be mirroring the guy and, like I said, all was going well until he took off his wedding ring in the interview and started spinning it in his fingers. Now. . .at that point I couldn’t really hear what he was saying anymore. All I was faced with was. . . can I pull this off? Can I really pull this off?
I even forgot Jack was in the room. It was just me and the guy. It was a square off of epic proportions and he was an unknowing participant. He had laid down the gauntlet. The ring spin. Can I answer? The tension, for me at least since I was the only one in on my little game, was building.
I looked at him. . .I shook my head with interest to what he was saying . . .Maintaining eye contact (this is key) I slowly and casually grabbed my ring, as he spoke. I ever so gently slid it off my finger and. . . . BOOM!!!! WE’RE SPINNING!
Yes! NOW we’re rolling. Legs crossed, relaxed lean to the right, rings spinning. We are ONE. I OWN this interview. He never noticed. Uh oh. . . I forgot about Jack.
See, Jack noticed.
Jack witnessed the whole thing and now is doing everything he can to not just fall on the floor laughing. Now we’ve got a problem b/c I had exerted so much energy pulling off my little trick that I couldn’t keep cool. This was not going to be good. You’ve been there. That friend of yours that you can’t look at b/c if you do you will both just lose it? Yeah. . .that was me. . .and Jack. . . in that moment.
Well, we wrapped the interview fairly quickly after that. We never lost it and to my knowledge our experiment, I mean, interview, was none the wiser. We had pulled off a mighty fine display of NLP.
Did we hire the guy. I have no idea. Don’t even remember.
Great memory though.
Don’t tell me you’re not going to try this.
Oh man! What a great memory! I remember that like it was yesterday. You can bet I’ll be practicing some of our old NLP skills on someone today!! – Jack
Of course, it’s just one of MANY memories I could write about. Good times.
I have done this for years. It works so well. I’m a hyper guy, and I “click” with all hyper personalities naturally. It is “fun” to slooooooow down and talk r e a l l y s l o o o w…..however, try not to fall asleep . Even more fun when you meet a high pitched hyper person. OMG, I can’t get through that one without laughing at myself…
People love to do business with people like themselves….. “y’all keep up the great blogs, ya hear?”
“y’all keep up the great blogs, ya hear?”
Bill, this was a great read! I’m really enjoying your blog. This one in particular really painted the picture and I found myself laughing out loud! I can’t believe you actually spun your ring and the guy never noticed! Truly hilarious!
Thanks Jess. Yes, it could have gone bad. He never caught on!
I was doing that one time during an interview and I was the candidate. I thought I was being real good at it and then the interview was over he said, “NLP?”. I said yes and he told the hiring manager to offer me the job if he wants a successful person. Even though I was “caught” it separated me from other candidates because it showed that I will do things to improve and become better. It worked out well but when he asked the questioned I did pucker a little. Hope you are well Bill and I do enjoy your blog.
That’s great David. He had to get a kick out of watching you do it.
Even if I don’t try it, which I hope I remember to, I enjoyed the story.
Gotta try it TMag.