I was a Speech Communications major in college. While, I certainly prepared my share of outlines and gave plenty of public speeches, I have always been more comfortable and confident with interpersonal communication. Either one on one, or conversation / debate / negotiation in a small group.

In college I obviously took a bunch of classes on how to speak effectively. Through my 20’s and 30’s I listened to countless tapes, CD’s and downloads on persuasion and negotiation. I have studied personality profiles in order to be a better interpersonal communicator. With all that study, however, I will tell you that the best and most effective tool on communication I ever learned, I learned from my Dad.

When I was young he taught me a great technique. While I may not use these words verbatim, although I certainly have, I have found its basic structure to have helped me countless times. It’s simple and powerful, especially in a one on one conversation.

The 3 F’s.

Feel, Felt, Found.

“I know how you feel. I’ve felt the same way. Here’s what I’ve found.”

LIke I said, I may not say these exact words but it’s a great structure for communication. It says, “I hear you. I’ve been there. I’ve learned some things that may help you.”

Remember, most of the time people just want to be heard. They want to know that they are being understood. Once they feel that then they will be much more open to hearing your advice.

Give this a shot.