Yesterday I shared why I decided after 13 years to move on from my position as Executive VP of the Lampo Group. I thought it was important to write that post b/c so much of what I will write here will be from the perspective of A) my previous experiences and B) my current life situation. I thought it would be silly to keep writing if you, the reader, had no paradigm for where I was coming from. Hopefully you know more about me today than you did yesterday.

So the question is, what have I learned about myself over the last 8 months? Is the picture any clearer? I’ve learned a lot. I will say, however, that de-programming from 18 years of similar work (mindset) is tough. It takes time. I’ve grown to be content sitting in that tension.

The truth is I’ve enjoyed my time off. I really have. I like taking my girls to school in the morning and picking them up most afternoons. As I do that I’m getting to know them better. We’ve actually become really close and, obviously I wouldn’t trade that for anything. Every Thursday morning, Amanda and I take our youngest kids to school and then spend the morning together. Nothing gets scheduled over our Thursday morning dates and this has been a good time for us. So, I’ve enjoyed the flexibility.

Do I miss day to day business? Sure. At times. When I hear of a challenge the company is facing or a new venture they are pursuing my competitive nature kicks in and I want to be in the middle of it leading the charge. I also miss the people that I spent so much time with. As I said, I had the privilege of working with some of my best friends. Of course, I miss that.

There’s one thing I’ve learned. There were times when I previously thought I could just be alone. I didn’t need to be around people. Ha! What a joke that is. I have definitely learned that I am a people person. I get energy from being around people. When I left Lampo, I leased an office for a year. A cool little one room office in downtown Franklin, TN. I knew that I needed a place to be able to get away. If I didn’t like having it I was totally ok with committing the money for a years lease to find that out. Well, there are times that I like it but I tell you what, give me the choice of going and working alone in my office or sitting at the deli a few doors down. I’ll take the deli. For me, I like to see the activity and a familiar face. It energizes me. I’ve learned that I definitely need that.

I’ve learned that I still am a goal oriented person. I need to have a challenge before me or I am lost.  I have to be intentional with my time or the day is just gone. These may sound like trivial things to you (maybe not) but this whole thing is me trying to spend my days and my work doing more of what God uniquely created me to do. Some of who I was before was exactly who he made me to be. Some of who I was before was what others expected me to be. I’m trying to hold on to the one thing while letting go of the other.

One more thing I’ve learned this year is that it’s important to journal often. It’s amazing to me the things I will review that I wrote months ago and I seem to come across them at just the right time. A great example of this is the following paragraph that I wrote as I prepared for my transition. This was after Amanda and I had spent two days doing some deep soul searching. We had decided that it was time to move on and I wrote this to myself on the way home:

This is not a time to do nothing however. I have been uniquely gifted by God & my life experiences have prepared me to be of great value to other people & organizations. I am a primary strategic leader, a fixer, a promoter & persuader & achiever. From this point forward I exist to help people do what they cannot do on their own. I bring fresh perspective to their situation & offer advice to grow and fix their current problems. I will be generous with my time. I will rest for 6-12 months. REST. Prepare. Learn. Re-create. Cultivate. I AM IN NO HURRY. There is NOTHING that HAS to be accomplished.

This is a great reminder for me. I am enjoying this season. I am doing an OK job of resting. I will be back in “the game” one day. It will just look different this time around.

Well, reading that has me fired up! I’d like to keep writing but I promised a shorter post so I’m gonna stop. The fact is, I’m on a journey and I feel a great responsibility to not screw it up. It’s my LIFE we’re talking about here! I only get one shot (resist the urge to link to an Eminem song). I do believe I’ve got to account for how I spent my time and I’m determined to not look back and say, “I wish I had. .  .”

What about you? Maybe you’ve not made as drastic a life change (although I know a few of you have) but what about smaller changes? What changes have you made that have given you clearer direction? Made you feel stronger and more connected?