So coming off of Labor Day weekend I was CRAVING a good salad. Good is relative I know so hold the critiques here. I have 3 favorites right now. The BBQ Chicken Salad at BrickTops. The Fuji Apple Chicken Salad at Panera, and the Thai Kai salad at J Alexanders. I opt for the Thai Kai and head to J’s. It’s 12:30 so, of course, it’s packed. I sit at the bar order my salad and am just going to do some brain dead activity like read Facebook posts on my phone. This is what I want to do. This is what I’m looking forward to doing. My unsweet tea, my salad and my phone.

Enter mid-40’s woman.

She sits down next to me and starts talking to the bartender about wine. He makes recommendations and she’d like to sample one that has a little “fruitiness” to it. I’m irritated. She tries it. Would like it’s country of origin. She hears the name. Asked if he could repeat that. . (are we in a freaking spelling bee here?) Then orders a glass. She likes it.

I get my salad. It looks great. So far so good.

She gets her salad. I feel her staring at me from time to time. I don’t move. Now I’m really irritated b/c I can’t move. For if I move positions that could possibly relay to her that I’m open to making “small talk”. I am not. I finally hear her voice. . .

“Excuse me?”

Crap. . now I’ve got to acknowledge that she’s there.

“Yes?”

“What salad is that?”

“It’s the Thai Kai”

“It looks good”

“Yes, it is good” “My Favorite”

DANGIT! By adding “My Favorite” I gave her 2 answers to her 1 comment which says I’m open to talking more. But I’m not. She says something stupid which gives me my out.

“That’s 1200 calories. I can’t afford to eat that. That many calories that is.”

Perfect. She critiqued my food choice which allows me to be a jerk and ignore her. I don’t care what she thinks of my salad. I look at my salad and simply say,

“That’s a shame”.

I then dig deeper into Facebook and lock her out. I vaguely hear her say something about the calories being in the peanut sauce. I’m gone.

Seriously, what started my irritation is A) I don’t know you B) Why do you assume I don’t just want to veg out here and eat my salad C) Do you think there’s a reason I haven’t acknowledged you? D) Maybe it’s b/c you’re a woman who is my age, however, NOT my wife or anyone that I know.

WHY WOULD I SIT AT A BAR AND TALK TO A WOMAN WHO I DON’T KNOW AND WHO ISN’T MY WIFE?

Well, there you have it. Just a nice little lunch with me, a mid 40’s woman and the voices in my head.